I wish I could blog more.

My mind just went blank these past days.

By the way, I have officially bunked in with Mark last 5th of August. J.V, his roommate, is probably on his way to Cebu right now.

While Mark went home to Batangas yesterday, I am left alone in our apartment. Yes, our apartment. Did I make the right move with this one? Of course, there had been hesitations! What if it got old? What if we grew tired of each other? What would happen next? And most of all, what have I been thinking?!

I am not really sure.

All I know is that, I cannot be without Mark right now. And if that happens somewhere in the future, I'll just deal with it when it comes. At this time, I just want to enjoy my life with him. We are quite excited with rearranging the house. And I so love the time we are spending in planning the stuff we need to buy for the house. Grocery? I like it every time we shop for our food and all that jazz. You know? It's like we're acting married and yet we're both aware that might not happen in the future.

Scary. Right. Tell me something I don't know.

I just miss him right now and I wish he'll have a thought to at least browse my blog.

***Bebe, I know you can't go home later. I just wish you will because I miss you so much and I cannot last a freaking day without seeing your lovely face. There's no one for me to hug and kiss today before I fall asleep and when I wake up. Anyways, enjoy your rest days and your time with your family. I love you.

         I'm back to my old blog... which I somehow miss by the way... It's been a long time since I put my thoughts into words. Anyways, I already have a new job, and I'm absolutely having fun. Although, I still miss my friends back at CVG and of course, my beshie, whom I haven't seen since our birthday celebration.

         I just want to let you know that I am currently going out with someone new - a batchmate to be more specific.

         I haven't felt this way in a long time now. You know, smiling even when you're alone then feel stupid after realizing that only you knows the reason why you're smiling? =)

        Good grief! I thought I have totally gone numb! But I surprised myself with these sudden changes within me. Still, I think single life rocks! =) I don't need anyone to complete me because I already am complete. It's just a bonus because somebody is seeing the wholeness in me and appreciate me for what I am.

        I'm just so steadily ecstatic! I know this would not last, so I'm making the most out of it. And no, we're not a couple. You know that I still am a commitment-phobic.

       So Carpe Diem! I am just enjoying my life right now, Although I miss my Kiddo and I missed on a lot of stuff. I have yet to talk to him about our business. Anyway, I hope y'all are feeling the same way that I do. This doesn't happen everyday, so I just wish I can share this joy with you right now. Cheers!

Keeping up appearances
Keeping up with the Jones'
Fooling my selfish heart
Going through the motions

But I'm fooling myself
I'm fooling myself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again

Everybody thinks you're well
Everybody thinks I'm ill
Watching me fall apart
Falling under your spell

But you're fooling yourself
You're fooling yourself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
And again and again and again and again

But you're fooling yourself
You're fooling yourself
Cause you say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say you love me
And then you do it again, you do it again
You say your sorry's
And then you do it again, you do it again
And again and again and again and again

   This is what mostly conveys my day today. I can't believe I was dumped! Damn this men! I'll be up for revenge. Hal? Turned down?! I've never been humiliated this much in my entire life! Swear, whoever-you-are, there won't be a next time, and if ever there will be, I'll make sure there is a bigger price to pay! Arrgh, *screaming in frustration* I so despise men, mostly the married ones! But most of all, I hate myself for letting me be fooled again. Stupid byotch! Never learned!

   Whut have I possibly done wrong? Last Sunday, on my way home, I dropped my ever precious baby which left her some dent on her right side. And then, the next day, I fell in a pit in our dirty kitchen. Too complicated to describe, let alone, I gained some bruises and a pain of not wearing skirt for who knows how long! Now, I was not able to have my leg checked up because that dang clinic Grepalife in RCBC Plaza didn;t specify that their doctors will be out by 5pm although they close at 6 pm. Can you effing believe that, on top of it, I lost my phone's headset! Arrgh, somebody tell me please thios will not carry on for this week. Someone tell me that this week will get better. Sigh.

      "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."
   -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

   You know what's weird about this date? A year ago, I spent it with a man I thought I'll never get over with. Until a couple of months after, I met a man who left me broken as much as the first one did. But heck, enough of that. What I really want to tell you about is what happened a year after, which technically is, today!

   I can't help but smile while I'm writing this entry. Today, history repeated itself, only much better. Because I spent it with someone who I consider as one of my most favorite people in the world. Better, because he is unattached unlike the former.
It's quite obvious, you know who it is. Alright. (Drum roll please). It's kiddo! Oh Kat, I can see you smiling from here. I went to the office early because he asked me to accompany him at market market. Well, he's having this plan of putting up a biz, which after a day became OUR biz, as per him. And so we went there, trying to look for sources for the biz he is putting up soon. When we were done with searching and window shopping, we both agreed to bail and look for some place where we can discuss the biz because apparently, market market was excessively crowded and there were no other coffee shops besides Starbucks. Actually, we considered having coffee there but then it seems like they can't accomodate people who wanted to chill out. Man, the place was tremendously hot, and how, for crying out loud, can we ever chill with  a place like that. So we decided to go back to Makati. 
   
   When we were having lunch before that though, Kiddo asked if  "playing hookey" is a good idea to me. It sounded good really, but i was half-hearted because it's the first day of the month and who would want to start your work on the first day of the month by being absent? Plus, the fact that you'd be rewarded a grand for perfect attendance for 10 consecutive work days had really made me think twice. I'm trying to work on my stats because im seeking for a possible higher position come next month. So, I looked at the heavens and ask for a sign. And having finished one of my favorite author's best selling books "The Alchemist", I somehow realized that indeed God pour us with omens everywhere in our everyday lives. While we were walking on our way to the waiting shed, there like an answered prayer, the Teriyaki Boy statue seemed to be alive and waved at me. Kat, i thought. Her vibes are working even at The Fort. So I smiled inside. Whew. That's one. I was thinking deep, what good excuse could I come up with, and immediately as the breeze touched my face, a good idea popped into my head. Diarrhea are really good in some ways, you know, it granted me this day. I went to the office while he waited for me at Greenbelt. I stayed for an hour trying to look stupidly sick so that the nurse would sent me home before I even log-in. I texted my TL as well, and without questions asked, she permitted me to be absent and didn't even demand for a slip from the clinic.

   And so off I went to Greenbelt. With him waiting, is a Passion Vanilla Tea Latte he bought for me at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I smiled. He simply said, "don't ask why or how, I just bought it".  "Alright." was all I said and flashed a grin at him. I sat at my favorite couch while he tried to storm text messages to his friends for company. On the other hand, I was just simply smiling inside and out. This is gonna be great night, I thought. Last year, I spent this very same date with a man who had a lot of strings attached to him and the rest of the year appeared to be a good one. Now, I am spending it with a man who completely love his freedom, as much as I do, and given the fact that it is my Kiddo, what more good omen can I ever look for today. There is also one funny thing that happened tonight regarding his flaky grrl, but I'm still thinking about it if I'm gonna include that in the story since I was threatened that he might go crazy one day and search for this blog using keywords, and of course, what else would that be aside from Kiddo and Audz? *aargh* 

   Unfortunately though, no one from his peers replied to my disappointment. I was actually hoping that somehow I could meet some new guy to hang out with. Lolz. Sigh, it's been so long since I went out with a guy. Yes, 5 months is already long! We went to Giligan's to have dinner, and had a few bottle of beers. There, I partly told him what happened in my life during those days he decided not to meddle. We talked about his fears and mine as well. I am terribly surprised though that with all the muscles he had developed, he is freaking scared of a puppy. He calls them monster, comparing his size with the cuties, I was shocked with what I found out. That creep, ironically I call him puppy sometimes and now I'll have more good reasons to call him that. The time fled so fast, and the next thing I know we were walking along the streets of Ayala looking for Cable Car. (We haven't had enough of the booze and the talks yet.) It was a walk to remember because we were like walking and walking around but never hit the streets of Pasay Ext. A liitle help won't hurt so I asked some guards for directions. Crazy are we, we did not want to take a cab because he said I could use some walks since I'm an upsized version of me lately. We finally found Cable Car and we had a draft of beer and Chicken fingers. More and more stories were shared. Until we were both plastered (not drunk!), we were thinking of a place to stay. Crap, I should have asked Audz a favor before we hit Market Market, earlier I thought. It was unexpected, so I let it pass. Besides, I never thought we'd be spending the whole night together.  For those who knew what happened last year, would be laughing their hearts out finding out that we crashed into the exact same place where I was last year. Yes, that's it. But nothing happened except that we were snoring to our heart's content. I found it blissful. I couldn't even express it right now. The exact words that would convey what I felt tonight, I don't know what would that be. But it felt great that we had a wonderful day and night together. Not thinking about anything except that wonderful feeling inside me, I felt contented that I don't need to have someone to make me feel I'm wanted. That moment, what happened is something that I would never forget for the rest of my life. October 1st will always be a day of good omen that will remind me that I should never feel lonely or sad because something good will always happen to me.

   I know, previously I was ranting about how I pissed off I am about him. Now, I realized, we may not end up with each other but he will always be someone that is connected with me. And no matter what happens, he is my Kiddo and I'm his Chief. =)